Don't Make Me Cry

Today one of my dearest friends had to get back to her country. Leaving friends and a lovely boyfriend behind.

Don't make me cry world. Don't.

Sometimes...

Sometimes you ask yourself... if it is worth it, to feel that all pain inside, or maybe just let it go..


I got over you, but just another downfall has come in my life. Not much different than you, making me feel like being have to puzzle the riddles out again.

But if you had seen his charm, you would have felt the same. His eyes, like the deepest spot in the ocean, and the smile like a glimpse from heaven.

But his character, like a lost boy from a Peter Pan fairytale. But can I still fall in to him? Am I a fool? just because I am an artist, would these feelings make me a loser?

I fell into him.

And totally forgot you.

So either way, I have moved on.

If only you had seen him.

He was the one.

The Recover

After more than 2 months, I feel like my heart is ready to burst. I have been in shadows for a long time that I could not even see, speak, smell or feel. I had locked myself up in my silence and just hoped things'd get better.

And they have.

Because I have met you. (this time the "you" is different, sorry, the older "you"s trend is long since expired) Yes you, the most amazing personality I have ever seen. You made me feel like that I could feel these excitements all over again, and just like someone used to say, you made me feel like I was destined to love. I don't know when would I reveal this blog to you (probably months later) But I'd like you to know, if this works out, which I am ready to compromise, I want to make you the happiest person on earth, just like you want to make me so.

So dear blog, this means that I won't be posting sad or devastated posts on here. Regardless of what happens with my current "association", I am completely recovered from the poison of my past. I am back to being a happy, healthy and creative Onur. And oh, I have missed him so much.

This morning I woke up to a day that reminded me that I have suffered that much to tell myself who I am today. The scars I used to get are like little stains now, and all the heartbreaks seem to have made my heart bigger, stronger and wiser.

I am wiser dear blog, wiser and knowledgeable. Knowledgeable on who to trust and who to love.

And you, my ginger friend, are such a person to love. And I am looking forward to the day of me telling this out loud.

I let my past off to disappear in its misery, as I am sailing towards a new life. With a new job and a new love and most importantly, a new life.

Thanks.